Merry @)#*$*#@ Christmas.

. . . If I could only have gotten the bottle of wine in Amy's hand . . .

Snow! We've Got Snow!

For the past two days we have gotten snow here. Cooper is obsessed with snow because he is in love with Frosty the Snowman. Don't ask, who knows why. This is the first year that either of the boys has seen snow for themselves so I am glad to have some around Christmas time. For the four years we have lived here people told us we are to far south to receive any snow. I'm glad they were proved wrong! We stayed outside for two minutes just so I could get a picture. The ban for gym entrance has been lifted so we were heading there. I am glad to report no hitting instances. Hopefully we will end on a good note in the YMCA nursery!

The Lusty Boys

I was up early this Saturday morning and proud of myself for getting to the gym to get my workout in before the day begins. I see this not so happy woman approaching me.

"Are you Jennifer?"

"Yes."

"Come with me, I need to speak to you in the hallway."

Great.

"Your boys have had a hard time today keeping their hands to themselves. They are pushing other children, hitting them with toys and not listening to the staff."

"I'm so sorry!"

"Yes, well. . . one of the other little boys was playing with a toy and your boys decided they wanted it and push the small one down. He hit his head on the table and the mother has just taken him to the emergency room."

"What?!"

"You need to pick your children up now Mrs. Lusty, they are not allowed in the nursery for a couple of days."

Head down, looking at the floor. "I'll be right there. Let me get my coat."

A three and a one year old. It is going to be a long upbringing.

Ah . . . Holiday Traditions

While on my daily shopping trip to WalMart, which I intend to only go in for that one item but come out with two baskets fun of junk, today was no exception. Heading down the aisle of Christmas fun I notice a "make it yourself" gingerbread house.

Fun! Fun! Fun! I think to myself. Cooper would have such a good time and this could be the start of a family tradition that we do each year. We could build memories of sharing in something together, laughing, listening to Christmas music and admiring what we did as a team. I could picture this all in my head with just that one look at this box of make it take it. I had to have it! $9.99 later, plus my two baskets full of "junk" I head back to the house.

I cannot wait for Brian to get home to show him my GREAT new idea for the evening and the bond we will experience in this holiday season. Cooper had his eye on the package since morning so he is more than ready to begin his project.

I send the boys to play and get everything set up in the kitchen. I want everything to be perfect and laid out accordingly so once the boys arrive all will go to plan. I have each different candy in their appropriate bowl. Each side of the house is carefully laid out in order of construction. The mixing bowl and frosting is ready to be mixed. I read and reread three more times the instruction on how to make the frosting. 5 cups of water and the package. Mix until thickened. It is time to summon the crew.

Wide eyed Cooper is excited to say the least and is eager to get started. I reread the instruction one more time and mix 5 cups of water to the powder and begin mixing. Um . . . it seems watery? What is wrong? Where are those directions? Read, Read, AAHHH! Not 5 cups of water. 5 Tablespoons. I am an idiot. The whole project is ruined.

Brian tries to save the day and mixes in a bag of flour to thicken it just a little and the house stays up for about a second. Cooper did enjoy putting the candy on the cookies that were provided but all in all it was a disaster.

I hate cooking. I can't even mix frosting, even if all you have to add is water. Now behold our first Lusty Gingerbread House. Made with loving hands.

Ghetto Santa 2005

I am so disappointed with the Santa this year. I didn't realize how much I disliked him until I saw the developed picture and it was to late by then. We went to a different mall this year because I had saw a commercial that showed such a cute play area for the visit to Santa and I wanted to check it out. Um, yeah. Nothing was like it was on the commercial. I am such a sucker.

I didn't really take a good look at the guy while standing in line because Wyatt was putting up a good fight to get down from my hip that I was flustered the whole time. Brian and I had a plan to each take a kid and when our turn arrived we would place each kid on a knee then move quickly away and start jumping like monkeys to get a smile from one of them. No such luck.

As soon as I placed Wyatt on his lap I got a good look at him and thought, "What the #@(#?".

Click. It was over.

One good thing is Cooper isn't crying, that is a huge feat itself. Wyatt on the other hand totally made up for it all. Heck. I would to if my parents, whom I trust, placed me on this guy's knee! "Santa's" beard and eyebrows were dyed white, and his glasses had to be the same one's he got in 1982.

Instead of the cute coloring book and crayons they got last year, this Santa gave them a teeny tiny candy cane.

$28.35 for memories of 2005.

P.S. The picture you see is not the one we bought and have up in our living room. As I was downloading the picture we bought on CD I noticed that the girl scanned the wrong picture onto the CD so off to the mall we go again this weekend to complain and hopefully get our money back on the CD at least! Fingers crossed.

Reasoning

8:15 a.m. Sitting at the table coloring with Cooper and Wyatt looking at Cooper's breakfast plate sitting nearby, untouch.

"Cooper, are you going to eat any of your breakfast?"

"I don't like it." *pause* "I got a headache."

It's going to be a long day . . .

Ahh . . . the family Christmas picture. Look at us all with big smiles, don't we just look like the "perfect family?" Yeah, right.

Last night Brian watched the boys while I got time away with some friends. Cooper had been in a mood all day with lots of back talk and speaking to me really loudly, okay he was screaming at me. I was elated to be getting out of the house for a couple of hours and I saw the look of horror in Brian's eyes as he held Wyatt, who was pulling away from him screaming for me, and Cooper who was running circles around him so fast I couldn't even make out where he was. My evening was lovely and as I headed home I envisioned a quiet, clean home with both boys sound asleep where I could come in, get on my comfy pj's and watch a good movie. As I am coming up my street I see Cooper's bedroom lights are still on . . . not a good sign. I walk into the house and the smell is emminent. A smell like some one had poop in a pine tree. Again, not a good sign. A friend of Brian's, Michael and his son Lance, were sitting in the living room where he was shaking his head pointing to Cooper's room telling me to check it out for myself. All looked good to me so I went to find Brian and Cooper. I heard Brian's voice in the bathroom telling Cooper that poop is stinky and it needs to stay in the toilet. The door opens and Cooper is all smiles and Brian's face is sunken to the floor. Brian puts Cooper to bed as I am trying to find out details but like a true horror film Brian doesn't want to talk about it.

Two hours later Brian comes to me with what his evening entailed. Wyatt was fussy the rest of the night and as soon as 8:29 hit Brian had had enough and put him to bed. Cooper and Lance played okay so the older "boys" decided to go play Xbox. Twenty minutes later Lance comes into the room announcing that Cooper won't play with him. Off the boys went to investigate. Cooper's door was closed which immediately looks suspicious so Brian opens it up and as soon as the odor hits his noses he regrets the door opening. Cooper once agian(see history)has pooped in his underwear and then proceeded to play with it like it was just normal mud for all his Hot Wheel cars to play in. Except this time Cooper was playing with it on the carpet and not his car rug like before. Brian was mortified and really at a loss for words. Brian said he told Cooper to get up, get a rag, and get to cleaning. Luckily I had come home once all had been clean and saw none of damage, except the smell. Brian said Cooper didn't complain once about cleaning it all up but he had to scrub and rinse his washclothes several times. I don't know if I could have let Cooper clean it up himself so more power to Brian. Cooper was in bed by 10:30 p.m.

Fast forward to 1:30 a.m. I hear Cooper crying, which he has been doing alot lately due to bad dreams, and I decided to let him "cry it out" much like he did when he was a baby. Well, 10 minutes later I can take no more so off I go to his room. He tells me is tiki(blanket) is wet so I pick up to feel/smell it and check his underwear for leakage. No leaks. I then feel his bed, pillow and pj's and then realize IT IS THROW UP. I get him all cleaned up and start a load of laundry and laid on the couch to wait until the laundry is finished so Cooper can have his beloved tiki back. Every twenty minutes for the next THREE hours Cooper is puking. Let me tell you I am not a nurse nor do I have any desire to be one and those three hours are awful. In the back of my mind I am thinking of the morning and of our family Christmas portraits, will we be able to make it? Finally around 5:00 all laundry is done and Cooper is asleep so I crawl back to bed. Around 9:00 I wake up Cooper and Wyatt to start getting ready for pictures.

Thinking our picture time is 10:00 I am rushing like a mad woman to get out of the house. Cooper is complaining of his tummy but I press forward. Out the door at 9:50 I look at my planner and notice the picture appointment is at 10:50. I am an idiot. Brian takes me by Target while he sits in the car with the boys and the next stop is the mall.

We pull into the mall parking lot when Cooper starts crying. I get out of the car and open his door when he starts throwing up on himself. I am yelling at Brian to get me something and he is frantically searching for anything and ends of handing me a tissue. Hello? a tissue? The boy is throwing up milk, sour milk and all you find is a @&$#^$^ tissue? We get Cooper out of his carseat and onto the parking lot where he throws up twice more. Each time Brian is holding him up so not to get any of the sour throw up on his new outfit and we, as his parents, are jumping like rabbits to not get any on our outfits or shoes. Are we are candid camera?

"Do we go ahead and get the pictures?"

"Well we are already here?"

"Let's find a bathroom."

Wyatt was a holy terror during our portrait session and cried the entire time if I wouldn't hold him. I wanted a shot of just the boys, but Wyatt wouldn't have any of it. Oh well.

So you see our lovely picture perfect pictures? It wasn't so perfect getting that one snap shot of cuteness but we made it through in one piece. Cooper hasn't thrown up since and is actually acting great. Wyatt fell asleep at noon and is still sleeping three hours later.

Merry Christmas.