Ahh . . . the family Christmas picture. Look at us all with big smiles, don't we just look like the "perfect family?" Yeah, right.

Last night Brian watched the boys while I got time away with some friends. Cooper had been in a mood all day with lots of back talk and speaking to me really loudly, okay he was screaming at me. I was elated to be getting out of the house for a couple of hours and I saw the look of horror in Brian's eyes as he held Wyatt, who was pulling away from him screaming for me, and Cooper who was running circles around him so fast I couldn't even make out where he was. My evening was lovely and as I headed home I envisioned a quiet, clean home with both boys sound asleep where I could come in, get on my comfy pj's and watch a good movie. As I am coming up my street I see Cooper's bedroom lights are still on . . . not a good sign. I walk into the house and the smell is emminent. A smell like some one had poop in a pine tree. Again, not a good sign. A friend of Brian's, Michael and his son Lance, were sitting in the living room where he was shaking his head pointing to Cooper's room telling me to check it out for myself. All looked good to me so I went to find Brian and Cooper. I heard Brian's voice in the bathroom telling Cooper that poop is stinky and it needs to stay in the toilet. The door opens and Cooper is all smiles and Brian's face is sunken to the floor. Brian puts Cooper to bed as I am trying to find out details but like a true horror film Brian doesn't want to talk about it.

Two hours later Brian comes to me with what his evening entailed. Wyatt was fussy the rest of the night and as soon as 8:29 hit Brian had had enough and put him to bed. Cooper and Lance played okay so the older "boys" decided to go play Xbox. Twenty minutes later Lance comes into the room announcing that Cooper won't play with him. Off the boys went to investigate. Cooper's door was closed which immediately looks suspicious so Brian opens it up and as soon as the odor hits his noses he regrets the door opening. Cooper once agian(see history)has pooped in his underwear and then proceeded to play with it like it was just normal mud for all his Hot Wheel cars to play in. Except this time Cooper was playing with it on the carpet and not his car rug like before. Brian was mortified and really at a loss for words. Brian said he told Cooper to get up, get a rag, and get to cleaning. Luckily I had come home once all had been clean and saw none of damage, except the smell. Brian said Cooper didn't complain once about cleaning it all up but he had to scrub and rinse his washclothes several times. I don't know if I could have let Cooper clean it up himself so more power to Brian. Cooper was in bed by 10:30 p.m.

Fast forward to 1:30 a.m. I hear Cooper crying, which he has been doing alot lately due to bad dreams, and I decided to let him "cry it out" much like he did when he was a baby. Well, 10 minutes later I can take no more so off I go to his room. He tells me is tiki(blanket) is wet so I pick up to feel/smell it and check his underwear for leakage. No leaks. I then feel his bed, pillow and pj's and then realize IT IS THROW UP. I get him all cleaned up and start a load of laundry and laid on the couch to wait until the laundry is finished so Cooper can have his beloved tiki back. Every twenty minutes for the next THREE hours Cooper is puking. Let me tell you I am not a nurse nor do I have any desire to be one and those three hours are awful. In the back of my mind I am thinking of the morning and of our family Christmas portraits, will we be able to make it? Finally around 5:00 all laundry is done and Cooper is asleep so I crawl back to bed. Around 9:00 I wake up Cooper and Wyatt to start getting ready for pictures.

Thinking our picture time is 10:00 I am rushing like a mad woman to get out of the house. Cooper is complaining of his tummy but I press forward. Out the door at 9:50 I look at my planner and notice the picture appointment is at 10:50. I am an idiot. Brian takes me by Target while he sits in the car with the boys and the next stop is the mall.

We pull into the mall parking lot when Cooper starts crying. I get out of the car and open his door when he starts throwing up on himself. I am yelling at Brian to get me something and he is frantically searching for anything and ends of handing me a tissue. Hello? a tissue? The boy is throwing up milk, sour milk and all you find is a @&$#^$^ tissue? We get Cooper out of his carseat and onto the parking lot where he throws up twice more. Each time Brian is holding him up so not to get any of the sour throw up on his new outfit and we, as his parents, are jumping like rabbits to not get any on our outfits or shoes. Are we are candid camera?

"Do we go ahead and get the pictures?"

"Well we are already here?"

"Let's find a bathroom."

Wyatt was a holy terror during our portrait session and cried the entire time if I wouldn't hold him. I wanted a shot of just the boys, but Wyatt wouldn't have any of it. Oh well.

So you see our lovely picture perfect pictures? It wasn't so perfect getting that one snap shot of cuteness but we made it through in one piece. Cooper hasn't thrown up since and is actually acting great. Wyatt fell asleep at noon and is still sleeping three hours later.

Merry Christmas.