The Rest of the Story

I cannot express enough how lucky I am to be surrounded by wonderful and caring friends and family. The cards, emails, facebook messages, flowers, chocolates, phone calls and side hugs(they know me well!)each gave me confidence to face the challenge of the day.

The weekend went quickly as we were busy with my sweet nephew's first birthday party on Saturday. Cooper & Wyatt spent the night with Papa and Grandma as we traveled back home with little Abram. It was a quiet Saturday evening, which I fell asleep by 9:30 PM! Sunday was emotional, but strangely encouraging as I was able to connect with dear friends who truly care about my well being and were there to listen, talk and shower their love all morning long. I felt strongly about being at church on Sunday because I feel like it is important to be around extended family in good times and bad. Plus, I have taken the lead at our children's worship and was looking forward to hearing one of our fifth grade boys lead the sermon in Rock Solid Worship. Being around the elementary students was uplifting and allowed me to forget my own sorrows. Satan was not going to have a hold over me.

Life Group was an amazing time of connecting on new levels with friends. It was exactly what I needed to prepare myself for today.

My sweet sister in law, Jessica and my brother took the boys off my parent's watch and had them spend the night with their favorite cousins. We had another night of quietness.

With anxiety building about the upcoming surgery I decided to start and finish all the laundry before I went to bed. Around 1 AM my goal was completed. Off to bed I went although it was a horrible night's sleep. I worry WAY to much!

This morning I was a nervous wreck. I hate going to the hospital, surgery scares me to death, my blood pressure was out of control and my heart rate was off the charts. My poor husband tries to help as best he can, but he is at a loss at what he can do. Sadly there is nothing he can do to make my nerves calm down.

My sister and mom arrive around 10 AM. I am so glad they are able to make the drive to help me out as my sister stayed behind to take care of Abram and my Mommy went with me to the hospital to keep me in check!

The moment I walked through the doors of the hospital I am a basket case. The thought of the IV going in, the medicine to knock me out freaks me out, coming out of surgery gives me the shakes and I hate the fact I have to be there in the first place. I have issues.

Into my hospital gown I go, the IV is put in, I am laying on the hard 'bed' with some sort of hot air mattress on top of me with a blanket(?) to keep me warm. I had three wonderful nurses who tried their best to put me at ease. I am convinced nurses are angels on earth! After I am set and prepped for surgery my worrisome husband, Mom and three, wonderful, dear friends come to my side to sit and talk with me until I am wheeled off.

An hour and half I have to wait and honestly without all of them there talking and distracting me would have been a nightmare. They will never know how much I love them for being there for me. Taking time out of their busy schedules and lives to just sit and talk and make me laugh, there is no words of appreciation I can give. They were my lifesavers. I get tears in my eyes as I write about them all. God sent me wonderful friends to make this journey bearable and I am grateful.

Despite the circumstances that sent me to the hospital it was the best experience I could have prayed for! I remember nothing, I came out of the sleeping medicine with tons of energy and alertness and was ready to go home. We were leaving the hospital by 2:30 PM. We made a drive through the pharmacy and through Chick-Fil-A(I was STARVING) and then were on our way home.

I sat on the couch the rest of the afternoon talking with my Mom and sister and a couple hours later my SIL and brother were there with my two sweet boys. Everyone left around 6 PM.

It is now almost 11 PM and I still have not fallen asleep. The pain medicine hypes me up and I have been sitting in my bed all evening watching TV, catching up on blogs, downloading photos and writing posts! Brian has taken over the rest of the house and is not allowing me out of this room. Bless this man!

Physically I feel fantastic and for this I am glad. I have no pain, have a great appetite and am ready to resume my boring daily routine. Emotionally I am feeling good too. Friday was by far the roughest day for me. Many tears were shed. I know there my still be lingering emotional times to go through, but I have a baby to love and hold onto and this has given me great comfort.

I will never know the 'why' of losing this baby and I am at peace with this. Even if God gave me a reason I still don't know if I would understand. What I do know is I have many things to be thankful for. I choose to focus on those things in my life.

I believe I will still be blessed with baby #4 in my future.

I hope with all the downtime I have in the next couple of days I can update this poor neglected blog with stories of our vacation to Disney World, kindergarten basketball and my 10/11 month post of Abram. There is so much share!